The more I have going on in my life, the more help I need. (Anybody else?)
Yet it's so easy to make it look like we've got it all under control. Or like we can do it all.
This was quite poignant the day Max turned 4.
As per usual, I was working on everything for his preschool lunch party the night before. I had ran to the market and got a pinata, decorations, candy for the pinata, and Lightning McQueen costume all for $40 USD so I was feeling great. Until I started working on the cupcakes at 8pm on the eve of his bday.
I'd promised myself as a new mom who loves to bake that I'd always make their cupcakes or cake because there's no point in spending money on something so simple. So each year Max and I pick a cool cupcake that's simple enough for mommy to make (aka no need for special cake decorating skills). And this year we found this cupcake on Pinterest.
Until it was 10pm the night before his birthday and I realized as much red food coloring as I put in the frosting Lightning McQueen was still going to be pink.
I was mortified.
One because Lightning McQueen was going to be pink for my son's 4th birthday.
Two because I wasn't able to actually do all the things by myself.
I started berating myself because as much as I try to feign that "I've got this under control" look on Social Media. But in this moment (and in so many others) I knew I needed to ask for help.
So I texted a friend who actually makes cakes and sells them and asked her where I can find the red food coloring gel that all the youtube videos were telling me I needed. And bless her heart, she said, stop by in the morning and you can borrow my food coloring gel.
And thanks to Sabrina and letting me borrow her gel, the cupcakes were not lost after all and actually turned out quite cute in my opinion.
But I remember crying the night before thinking I'd ruined Max's birthday and I felt so much pressure to do it all on my own.
I think a lot of times, as women, or as moms, we tend to do that. Our pride gets in the way. Our determination stops us from looking around us. We're scared to admit we're not able to figure things out. When in these moments of doubt, confusion or frustration, all we really need to do is ask for help.
We all need help. It's what we are here for, to help one another. This life can be hard and unhappy things happen. I'm so thankful for the community of friends that have surrounded us and supported us in tough times when we were ready to give up on our marriage. Or when I needed advice on how to cope as a new mom. Or all the guilt I feel because of the pressure I put on myself as a working mom. Or even in the seemingly fickle little things like red frosting for our son's birthday.
Whatever it may be today that has you feeling frustrated or down or may even seem like an unimaginable feat to conquer, don't be afraid to ask for help.
It's one thing to pretend we don't need it. It's another thing to waste our days fretting about what others will think or exhausting ourselves trying to do it all when all we need is a helping hand.
Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. I do that every day. Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength. It shows you have the courage to admit when you don't know something, and to learn something new. - Barack Obama