Funny how much can change in a year. Or these days, how much can change in a month, a day, a week. How much of what we thought was certain is actually easily quite nebulous as what seems like a fact one day can seem ridiculous the next. Or at least it feels that way in this current landscape we are all facing.
But I mention what can change in a year to start this post out, because a year ago, during our family staycation (ironic now, given we've stayed at home for 45 days), I got a call that devastated me.
This weekend on the podcast I talked about the day I got the call, in the middle of my family vacation and heard the words that nobody wants to hear, "I'm sorry, we have to let you."
I was let go from my company. The company I had poured so many hours into over 3 years, building up programs, trying to resurrect a program that was financially doomed and creating relationships with our clients and my co-workers while growing as an international presenter.
That moment was devastating. I felt awful, disappointed, rejected, sad, surprised, angry, unappreciated. Yet what I wrote a year ago on the blog the morning following the "let go" still remains true today, perhaps more than ever as the current circumstances we are all experiencing came just as much a surprise to the world as that day I got let go from my job felt like a surprise to me.
Sometimes life takes tricky turns.
The rug is pulled from beneath you.
You pour your heart and hours into something
That is then taken away from you.
The last two days have been an emotional roller coaster for my family and I.
Everything is going to be OK.
But after two restless nights, lots of anxiety and thought,
I come back to knowing I need to be grateful for what I do have.
I'm grateful for two healthy children.
I'm grateful for a loving and patient husband.
I'm grateful for all I've learned over the last 3 years.
I'm grateful I was given a new opportunity when many others were not.
We can't predict tomorrow.
We can't count on others all the time.
We can focus on what matters.
We can dream.
We can set goals.
We can wake up two hours earlier to work that much harder.
We can trust that it will one day pay off.
So here's to a new chapter.
Here's to dreaming.
Here's to hard work.
Here's to being grateful.
And I guess, I copy and paste that post here again as I see despite the time that has passed, so much remains true. Having a year to reflect and think about the changes life threw my way has reminded me that even though it felt like my dreams were destroyed the moment I got let go from the company, I realize now that sometimes we need to let go ourselves to embrace the chaos and accept new challenges. At least I can say that now in retrospect to what I experienced a year ago.
I may not have had the courage to invest more in my dreams had I not been let go. I held myself back in so many ways, afraid to step up and be who I want to be.
I needed to be let go to realize that I can do more, I can want more and I can dream more.
My writing, the blog and ultimately starting the podcast this year were all given wings when I was let go from something I wanted to hold onto.
And my hope today is that once we return to normal life, whatever that may look like, that we remember the things we want to hold on to and let go of the things that don't matter.
Even though we were thrown into these new circumstances without a choice, sometimes that's what you need to realize what you want.
Or at least that’s how I’m choosing to see it as I look back on my year since getting let go.